Unfriending you on Facebook

Why I’m Unfriending You.

Have you ever taken time to think about how much time you are spending on social media?

The average person will spend more than five years of their lives on social media, according to a study by influencer marketing agency Mediakix.

This isn’t an overnight decision.  In fact, this decision has been gradually happening over a good year or two.  But the time has come that I’m bidding farewell.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone, I am unfriending many of you before the end of 2018.

Why I'm unfriending you and why Face Stalking isn't for me!

Sounds harsh?  Well let me explain.

I gave up my ‘normal’ job 18 months ago to take time out, gather myself, take care of my loved ones, which in turn, quickly moved onto starting a career online. 

Everyone that knows me well, the latter I dived into with both feet and my hefty body quickly followed! I became fully emersed in my blog and new business.

The negative side of online businesses

Working online has opened so many avenues that I never thought possible, but the negative side of this shiny coin is that I was spending a crazy number of hours a day, in front of the screen.  Don’t misunderstand me, I love doing what I do, I love the work and the people I have met along the way. I could work 24/7 if my mind and body would allow.  Because of this, I have to put down boundaries for myself, which I battle with on a daily basis!

I didn’t want more screen time to mind-numbingly scroll down everyone’s feed to see what they are caring to share, which to be honest is usually the best of the best times, or messages to show how bad they are feeling, which in fact in turn makes the reader feel bad, insecure, concerned it was them that indeed has made them feel bad or left out from the people that seem to be knowledgeable about said comments!

No Judgement

I’m not judging you if you do this, but I’ve decided that it’s no longer for me.

It’s naturally evolved over the last 18 months, I have gradually chosen to look at social media though business eyes only.  One at a time, choosing to see certain groups first in my feed, which naturally moved ‘friends and family’ out of my feed.

I’ve been out with friends and they’ve mentioned “did you see what I posted?”  “what about Tom, Dick or Harry airing their dirty laundry yesterday – didn’t it kick off?”.

Most recently, messages that have affected those that I love and care about, when already in a very painful situation, feeling immensely worse by various statements being put out onto the book of so many faces! Who has liked or not liked messages, and the emotion that then impacts those already in pain.  And it’s heart-breaking to see.  I understand, as I’ve been there also.

Face Stalkers

I know people that ‘face stalk’ and it’s their thing.  I personally think it’s crazy, somewhat sad and a waste of time and energy, but if that’s the way they wish to use their time, so be it.  We all have our thing!

But for me however, as I said previously, it’s not for me and I have been removing myself gradually albeit subconsciously, from the ‘social side’ of Facebook and into the realms of using social media as a business tool alone.

The Overwhelm of Worry

Today I woke up and it dawned on me what was naturally happening and that I need to take the bull by the horns and do it!

What stopped me in my tracks however, was that my first thought was of others.  The concern that the storm that then ensues after an ‘unfriend’ takes place.  The gossip that continues about who has been unfriended and who hasn’t. 

Its madness isn’t it? 

I then started worrying about who I would upset by doing this.  By being selfish and making a decision that is beneficial to me, my first worry is about others.

Not only was I worried about others, I was worried about people being upset that really don’t care much for me, that have proven this over the years, or our friendships or work situations have changed and we are no longer part of each other’s lives.  Why the heckety heck am I worried?!  It’s just Facebook for goodness sake!

Because that’s who I am. 

The core of me always looks out for others, always worried if friends, families and colleagues, past or present are ok.  Over my own pain and hurt, I still think of those people whether in my life, or those who have chosen to leave. 

And that will never change.

I need to unfriend you for me. 

I want to spend my free time, being free, away from the computer screen, away from social pressures.  Just being me.  Doing the things I love, with the people I love.  If you want to hang out, let me know!

Life is too short to spend time worrying about why I’m unfriending you.  Remember, this is social media, not real life.

If you’ve been part of my life, in whatever form, I still care.  If you need me, I’ll always be here, my number hasn’t changed for the last ten years, my email hasn’t changed for two decades and you can knock at my door if you need a friend.

Removing you from Facebook does not mean I’m ending our friendship.

Instead, I’m telling you I’m still here.  I’d rather hear your voice on the phone, I would prefer to meet for a coffee, even just once a year and my door is always open to you.

Those people that have come into my life, stayed a short while and then left my life, who I no longer have communication with, who have moved onto pastures new, I wish you well.  Enjoy your life and keep happy and healthy.

Don’t spend time overthinking why I am unfriending you on Facebook, instead, if you want to hear from me, call me!

Wishing all my friends, family, online tribe and followers a very happy, healthy and relaxed Christmas. And above all, make the call to your friends, old or new, I’m sure I’m not alone in wanting to be social in real life rather than on Faceebook!

My signature Nicky

Comments 2

  1. Well written. A phone call or message is far more powerful and meaningful. Out with the old in with the new, breath of fresh air. No one is indispensable. Make yourself count. Family is the most important friend. Xxxxx

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